Saturday, November 10, 2007


The Buckeyes got beat today. Where I live, Buckeyes Football is a big deal. Everything stands still during the game. And today's game, well it sucked. It didn't look like they even showed up to play. I wanted to stop watching after the third quarter - and I should have.

The fact that we are going to CLOBBER Michigan next week is little consolation.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

When a Stranger Calls Back

The whole family went to the YMCA for a little workout tonight. As we were leaving, I ran into a guy I went to college with. I did a little running around with him and his friend Bob. I even went out with Bob a few times. I'd tell you his name, but the funny thing is I DON'T REMEMBER! I had several classes with this guy and we were friends, but his name completely escapes me. I think I faked it good enough for now, but he wanted my number to catch up more later.

So tonight my phone rang and it was him. More faking. I seriously gave this a lot of thought. We made plans to all meet sometime to hang out. Now what am I going to do?! I've even been to this guy's house before. I added him to my phonebook as 'guy I went to school with'.

Update! His name is Steve. - I think.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Beggar's Night

Trick or Treat
Smell my feet
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, you can bet
I'll post your address on the Internet.

These people decided to trick-or-treat from their vehicle.
There should be some law against that.

Monday, October 29, 2007

A Decade

My oldest turned 10 yesterday. Seems like just yesterday he was born. I was 18 and terrified. I was a couple of months into a marriage that wasn't going so well and I had no support system. At least not a very functional one. My mother wasn't really talking to me. I was 17 and a senior in high school when I got pregnant. And on the honor roll. And on my way to college with a full-ride scholarship. She wasn't very happy. Now, I understand.

10 years and one very messy divorce later, everything has turned out ok. As much as I hated my mother for not being there when I needed her most, I've forgiven her. What I was really angry about was that I knew she was doing the wrong thing. What I didn't know was that she didn't know it was the wrong thing. I thought that she should have all the answers.

The hardest thing that I have learned in the last 10 years is that parents never have all the answers. All we can do is the very best that we know how with what we have. So I am constantly trying to forgive my parents for mistakes I think they made. Mistakes that I am sure they agonized about the same way I agonize about every decision I make. I hope some day my oldest will come to this same conclusion. And with the turbulent teenage years coming up, I hope he chooses to forgive me.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Ok, So I'm a Cow

I've gained 15 pounds in the last year and I don't care. Now I know I've become my mother.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I'm a Gummi Bear - Best Video - EVER

If you haven't seen this, you are missing out! There are lots of versions, my personal fav is the German one, but here it is in English...

Saturday, October 20, 2007

A Little Housecleaning

Well I finally took some time to work on this thing. I changed the colors of this blog a few weeks ago to reflect that it is now fall. I've added some new widgets. Some will stay, some will go. It was fun making Blogger do things it didn't want to do. Look for more changes to come...

Friday, October 19, 2007

A Small Treat

I like to think I'm snacking healthy. I work at a desk all day so I snack a lot more than I should. I'm averaging 10 pounds heavier than I was when I started my job two years ago.

I used to eat from the vending machine, but they raised their prices. And usually have crappy food. I've tried hard candy, mini muffins, mints, and a host of other things. I thought I hit pay dirt when I found the 100 calorie bags of mini muffins. Except there are FOUR muffins in a bag. So I had to eat two bags. So now we are up to 200 calories and they cost about 10 times more. And I'm still hungry.

I tried to venture out with Nabisco's 100 Calorie Healthy Snacks. I got the Chips Ahoy kind. I didn't expect much. However.... they were great! They were lots of them in the bag, they crunched, and the taste was exactly like the real thing. I just wish they made them in a bigger box so they didn't cost a fortune.

Definitely worth a try if you are trying to cut back on snacking.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Personality Disorder

I've never been fond of birthday celebrations. It possibly stems from not having many birthday parties as a child. I know there were a few, I've seen pictures of me as a baby. I don't personally remember any from my childhood. I don't like cake and I hate the pressure of the candles. I've had a few parties for the kids, but I'd much rather just get them a bigger present and forgo the party. So, they are doomed to repeat my pattern -- but at least they get presents.

Today was the birthday. I went to dinner with my grandma out of obligation (her birthday is tomorrow). My middle child blabbed to the waitress and I was forced to endure the dreaded server singing. I could have choked her. I tried to be a good sport, but all I really want for my birthday is to be left alone for a few hours and not have to deal with a party.

The highlight of my day: That same middle daughter, who was obsessed with my birthday, asked how old I was. I answered 20-something (fill in the something with the right number, I'm not telling).

She said, "WOW! That's not so good." --- Exactly.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Truth Fairy

I'm barely awake this morning and the almost-10-year-old sticks a baggie under my nose. Inside was a tooth. As I'm wondering where the heck he found a tooth he goes: "AH - HA!"

"I told you there was no tooth fairy!"

Thinking fast, but not that fast, I realize he lost the tooth the day before and didn't tell me to test his theory. I shushed him because his sisters were in the room. When they left, he went over his master plan with me, grinning from ear to ear. He caught me. I briefly considered coming up with a lie to keep him believing, but in a moment of weakness I decided he was old enough to know the truth.

"Ok, so you caught me, I am the tooth fairy," I tell him. "But you're the genius who is out two bucks!" His smile starts to fade as he catches on. He decided he still believes in Santa.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Pack Rat

I am a saver. I married the opposite. I save papers, toys, clothes, EVERYTHING. I have every school paper ever done by all three children. Considering I have a 4th grader, that is a lot. A few years back I finally threw away MY old school papers. From high school that is. I'm keeping the college stuff. You never know when I might want to become an accountant or a psychologist. Or maybe I can treat myself for free.

Storage is a problem. Right now I have a million 'green totes' - filled and stacked in the basement. They hold all the clothes the kids ever wore, books, computer parts (those ARE the hubby's). You name it and you can find it.

Some day I'd like a garage. Not for my truck, but for this stuff, it's kind of cool: storage solutions (totally sponsored link, but still cool stuff).

Time Off

I took a vacation day today to help my mom find something to wear to my brother's wedding this weekend. Vacation days are cherished because (1) I only get 10 a year, (2) I do not get sick time, so if one of us gets sick, I have to take a vacation, and (3) I need to save 5 days for the county fair the first week of July.

Today I also did 5 loads of laundry, the dishes, and various other cleaning. I can't wait to go back to work so I can get a freaking break.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

A Lot is Two Words

Little things irk me. I'm what you'd call high-maintenance, inflexible, and generally just a pain in the ass.

I had a teacher in the 8th grade whose mission was to teach the world that 'a lot' was two words and not one. She failed.

Vonage Sucks Too

After my last frustrating experience with Verizon, I decided to sign up for Vonage. With a promise of a modem appearing at my door in 2 business days and a month free service, I was excited to be rid of long-time loser, Verizon (formerly GTE). I had to pay at $42 setup fee.

That was two weeks ago. Still no modem. I called to cancel. Well, turns out I have to call yet another phone number that is only open limited hours. I couldn't cancel with the same people I placed the order with. And they still have my $42.

Now I hate all phone companies.

Monday, October 08, 2007

I Stare in Amazement

When someone posts something like this in a blog...

For those of you who told me I'd never make anything of myself and those of
you who tried to knock me down every time I tried to get up (and for those of
you reading this that really should have no business doing it)...

It makes you wonder if they do not understand what a blog is. If you don't want to share it, then find a way to keep your mouth shut - or don't post it on the Internet. Seriously.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Loan Sharks

270 days. That is how long one can go without paying on their student loans before these people really get pissed. I was one of the lucky ones, I left school only owing $3600 -- well plus another 4 grand on a credit card. After I got a real job, it was time to start paying those loans. At first I was ok with that.

Then I got this and this and this, and pretty soon the last thing I wanted to spend my money on was my student loans. I heard stories about people who owed on them for years and no big deal. So I started throwing the statements away. I figured if I had any money left at the end of the month... well that day didn't come. I'm the type of person who spends $1.25 for every $1 I make.

Well eventually they did get really angry. And they started talking about garnishing my wages! How embarrassing! So, ok, I paid them their money and they are happy and I get one less pair of shoes a month. I actually had to argue with them that no, I haven't really fallen on hard times - I just am really bad at prioritizing.

So, in case you ever wondered, you can go 270 days, but not a second more.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Ask Yourself Punk - Are you Feeling Lucky?

I seriously hate asking for salt at Wendy's or McDonalds and being gifted with 10 packets in my bag. Who needs 10 packets of salt for one medium fry? For that matter, who needs 10 packets of salt - EVER!

Here are some other ways to annoy me:

  • When I am going 33 mph in a 35, ride my ass because those extra 2 mph make THAT MUCH of a difference. The speed limit is exactly that, a limit, not the minimum you can go. You know what trying to rush me does? It makes me go slower.
  • If you call my cell phone and I don't answer because, hey, I might be talking to someone more important... call back continuously until I give up and answer out of sheer annoyance... Then ask me casually: "whatcha doing?"
  • Leave the cordless phone off the charger so that every time I try to use it, it dies 5 minutes into the call.
  • Wear your shoes on my very light-colored carpet.
  • Rev your motorcycle for 10 minutes outside my house at 3am. Yea, you are cool, and the whole street hopes you get hit by a bus.
  • Drink my pop and then act flabbergasted when I announce it disappeared. Yea, it emptied itself and then walked in the recycling bin. That's a die-hard environmentalist.
  • Switch my chair at work and then laugh when I spend all week looking for the one that has my butt-print in it.
  • Pull out in front of me and THEN TURN 50 feet down the road. Why do people do this?
  • Wait until I walk away from my computer and then turn it off, forcing me to wait for it to boot every time I want to do something. Do it in the name of power-conservation.
  • Tell me that I can't possibly be correct because you are an expert in the field. And then have absolutely no facts to back up your point. You are right because you say so, I get it.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

A Tad Disappointed

I was so excited for premier week. Private Practice, the Grey's Anatomy spin off, was a super-hyped disappointment. Instead of the passion seen from Grey's, it was more like a cheap Strong Medicine. Where the hell is Addison's fire? She gets a new show and an extreme personality makeover?

Grey's is half over and also a disappointment. I realize these kids have to find their adolescence, but it seems like the writers were asleep in this episode. Not leaving anything to chance, Izzy is a complete flake, Christina is mean, and Meredith's sister has completely become who she was last year. I sure hope it gets better than this. At this point, even I can predict the plot.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I Hate Verizon

A month ago I changed my calling plan online to one that better suits our needs. Actually, the only thing I use my landline for is send the occasional fax once a week from home. Seriously. So instead of paying $50+ a month, I'd like to pay $20. No-brainer right?

Well fast-forward to this month's bill. Still $50+ Called their helpful number to change service. Well... the only thing I could do there was UPGRADE. In order to select a lesser package, I have to call back and be put on hold for forever.... during the day. The daytime when I am at work. So how is that possible? Exactly. Time to dump Verizon.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Brat Hart

I wanted to test the slow motion on the camcorder... but not how she wanted me to do it. Yes, that is her swinging at me in the end. This is typically how my night goes. A better parent would have put the camcorder down, but I wanted to share what I get to see every day.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


While the new computer is nice and fast and pure...

... Having to install all the stupid software I need sucks. Finding the CDs sucks worse. Must.Get.Organized.

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Saga Continues...

So I was flying high when I got my new camcorder the other day. Well that lasted until I tried to burn my first DVD. And my second.. and the third.. and well you get the point. Notice I said 'tried'

After a half-dozen coasters, the new camcorder was about to get chucked out the window that was so conveniently placed in my office for just these occasions. I consulted the book. And the digital manual. And the web. Well, then I got a little smarter. I read the freaking box. Turns out my dinosaur (circa 2005) of a computer didn't have enough (insert male anatomy part here) to handle it. We're talking Sony proprietary software -- not even something made by Pinnacle or Adobe. Nice. Thanks, dear hubby, for talking me into the AMD back then to save a few bucks.

So then my options were to (1) take back the camcorder, (2) keep it and never watch the movies I recorded, or (3) get a new system. Guess what I picked? HELLO Core 2 Duo :) So, since I haven't had a chance to install any software to bog it down, I feel like I'm flying. And the videos.. look great on DVD.

The only problem is getting the kids to get off their butts and do something video-worthy.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Why I'm always so Grouchy

This is why sane people start drinking..

Saturday, September 15, 2007

On Getting Older

A few years back, right after divorce #1, I started a tradition of buying gifts for myself. I had never allowed myself selfish purchases before because, well we were poor. My first gift was a digital camera for my first Valentine's Day alone in 2003. It was a Kodak LS 443 and yes, I paid $500 for it. That was an enormous amount of money for me, but I saved and paid cash. I was ROCKIN' with 4MP and a great zoom. I still have that camera today.

This year for my birthday I traded my MacMini to the husband and some cash for a new camcorder. I wanted the Sony SR300, but they didn't stock it in the store and I wanted it today, so I settled for the HDR-SR5. I'm still deciding if it will make it past the 14 day period when I can take it back, but so far so good. Now I need a new processor because these videos make mine chug ;)

It helped that I used the excuse that my little brother is getting married next month and I'd like to tape it for him.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Walk Away While You Can

In a desperate attempt to keep my head above water, I've been avoiding the computer at home. It's my old friend that offers me comfort, but I don't want that. Really, I just want to be angry.

Here is the brief:

  1. ** Edited for Safety **
  2. I have to do the dishes way too much.
  3. I survived the Popcorn Festival (by not going) and taking all three kids to another county's fair.
  4. Dan and I might work things out.
  5. I will not be a homeowner either way.
  6. My family really pisses me off.
  7. I'm trying to re-establish a relationship with my bio-dad. My hunch is I'll get hurt again.
  8. My kids have too much homework.
  9. I hate cleaning.
  10. I need about 10 more hours in each day.
  11. I wish I had all the answers.

I'm going to try to find the lighter side, in the hopes that you all haven't run for the hills.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Flirting with the Bright Side

First, thank you everyone for your support. It helps to know I'm not alone.

I'm feeling at ease today. Less overwhelmed. I'm trying to complete the loan papers for the house. It's tempting to ignore it, but it has to be done. The funny thing is.. 3 kids and 2 husbands later... I'm just not sure I'm ready to make the kind of commitment it takes to buy a house.

My priorities are definitely screwed up.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Needing some Cheese

Well today didn't go all that bad. But I'm still going to whine a little.

It seems like my world is falling apart. I know this is what I wanted. It doesn't really make it all that much easier. I try not to get all dark and personal here, but I'm concerned. I know that I'm not sad about losing someone who I was supposed to love.

What I wonder... when was the last time I said I loved someone and really meant it? And have I actually ever? I just don't know if I'll ever let someone in. But the first step is admitting the problem, right?

The problem, folks, is me.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The End...

Ok, so we have court tomorrow. It's going to be ugly. and nasty. and I hate it already. I'm going to bed, but if you see this, wish me luck, patience, and a whole lotta Valium.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Famous Quotes

In honor of my BFF, Amanda:

The best part about having a boyfriend... is always knowing where you left your underpants.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Red Ex

Today I followed a red Ford Explorer with the above-named personalized plates. We went over an overpass where they stopped at every.single.pothole. to navigate around. Then they went a good 15 mph under the posted 35 mph down a residential street.

OK, so I understand being cautious.

Then they turned - a hard fast right turn - without USING THEIR TURN SIGNAL.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Public Service Announcement

My sister is going to be ok.

I like to start off with that because that is the important part. Saturday night / Sunday morning she was a passenger in a very bad car accident that was the result of two dumb girls getting drunk and driving in the fog with no seat belts. They hit a tree. Head. On.

They will both be ok.

Sparing the details, we knew this would happen someday. She is 21 and has a serious problem with alcohol and likely other drugs. We knew it was when, not if. And there wasn't a damn thing we could do about it. This is the third car she has had a part in totalling in 3 months. All booze-related.

So please, if you pray, please pray for her and her friend to learn from this. And please pray that people stop getting into vehicles and driving drunk.

And please talk to your kids about it. Even if they are too young.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


You don't want to be with me...
...but you're pissed that I don't want to be with you.

So let's convince me to stay by being the biggest ass possible.

Perfect Sense.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Good Intentions

The kids and I had a busy weekend that included Chuck E Cheese, the park, and the zoo. I found a cell phone at the park. It was a nice, newer Verizon phone. After asking around and not finding the owner, I called the home number on it in an attempt to return the phone. I also called the last number dialed when the home number didn't answer. The lady at that number gave me the owner's home address and asked me to drive it there! I eventually got a call back from the owner and she was coming back to the park to get it.

When she showed up and I handed her the phone, she barely grunted a 'thanks' and peeled away. How dare I inconvenience her by making her drive all the way back to the park for her forgotten cell phone.

I instantly wished that I had friends in Europe that I could have called on her dime. Ungrateful hag.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Have Your Pet Spayed or Neutered

In light of my almost-single status, I thought I'd share my favorite bad-date story. Shortly after divorce #1 I started talking to a guy in one of my classes at school. He was a few years older and divorced himself. Not all that great-looking, but I just wanted to get back in the game. I took him up on his offer to have a quick bite at McDonalds one night after class.

Basically at this point we knew each other's names, family situations, and career plans. That was about it. As we were ordering he looked me dead in the eyes and with a straight face asked, "I just have to know, are you fixed?"

I stalled for time and tried to figure out what the hell he was asking exactly, and why. He tried to clarify, "I just wanted to know because you have two kids and I want kids of my own someday."

Needless to say that was our first, and last, date.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

False Advertising

Megan has a new bed. Why, at 3, she is finally getting a toddler bed is a long story that starts with the fact her never-slept-in crib converts and ends with her father doesn't want her to grow up so he won't convert it.

We bought a handy little bed at WalMart. The box CLEARLY said 'easy to assemble'. I figured after wrangling it out of the store with Megan in tow and no help from the employees, putting it together would be a snap.

Well they obviously meant it was easy to assemble if you are an engineer or a carpenter or even just someone who has a vague understanding of WHAT THE HELL TO DO. It took several hours and several more cuss words, but I finally got it together. Megan is very pleased and loves sleeping in it.

We have no extra bolts and one unfilled hole, I'm hoping it's their screw-up and not mine...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Party Like a Rockstar

Well Megan did it. She got her ears pierced! Not even a single tear from my big girl.

I should add that I would have liked for her to wait until she was responsible enough .. like at 30.. but I caved. She's a rockstar.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Quite Possibly the Worse Idea Ever

Our local Meijer has TV Karts. For $1 you can lock a kid in the cart and shop in peace.... So they claim. The biggest problem is there is no front windshield (presumably so the kids can breathe). My kid thinks it's an escape exit.

Also, the doors lock - well they kind of lock. Unless you jiggle them enough from the inside. This cart happens to sit children right at the eye level of EVERYTHING THEY WANT. I end up with more junk than if I had used a regular cart. They are also not so cool to push around.

I appreciate the idea, but I hate TV Karts.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


Ok, so I've been neglecting my blog. A lot. I'm sorry!

I've been pretty busy what with the pending divorce (did I say that out loud?) - and no, I'm not ready to talk about it - and the horse show season being in full-swing. And then there is this MySpace thing. I swore I would never buy into the hype. It was for kids, I'd say. Well, here I am. And guess what? There are a lot of old folks like me there! I've found friends from school that I barely remember.

I also found this girl I grew up with. We were like sisters until I was about 10 or so. Then she just disappeared. While it's cool that she's doing great and she said hey, it's a little weird. I spent so much of my childhood looking up to her and now I have no idea who she is.

So, if you've ventured into Kiddieland, look me up at - I'm kind of embarrassed about how few friends I have!

Friday, May 18, 2007


Today I did a little my my MySpace page. I feel so *like 12*. Well, I wanted to do the custom name thing they have so that my page is called something other than -- well I wanted it to be 'Be_fearless'....

.. well it was TAKEN! and not just taken... BUT taken by a girl who rides horses.

I'm pissed.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Tag your it! ;)

When I read this comment, my first inclination was to scratch my head -- as if I had caught head lice or something. I'm so weird.

Karen tagged me and so I am going to try to come up with 7 random things I haven't already mentioned.

The Rules: Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

1) I eat like a 5 year old. No, I don't wipe my hands on my pants, but my main food groups are pizza, fries, pop, hot dogs, mac & cheese, and McDonald's. I've never eaten a salad and I don't know what I'd do with a lobster. If you can't dip it in ketchup, it wasn't meant to be eaten.

2) I have OCD. LIKE.A.LOT. I sometimes repeat myself 50 times, it's annoying. I lock and re-lock doors. I set the alarm clock 7 times. I have to scratch both legs if one itches. My socks have to match. I also bless myself if I sneeze. It's a compulsion.

3) I work three jobs. I've worked three jobs for about 4 years. At one time I was up to 5 part time jobs. It was not fun. Now I have one full time job and two part time. And I still spend every dime... like it's a quarter.

4) I don't like to wear skirts. My legs are *husky* Even when I was a size three I had fat legs and angles. And boy feet -- a nice hardy size ten. Doubt I'll ever fall over, I have a nice wide base. My aunt wears a 12.. in men's.

5) Sometimes the uber-nerd comes out and I try to find algebra problems to solve for fun. It's nice when things have an exact solution and there is no grey area. I love logic puzzles.

6) I've been known to wear the same pair of jeans a couple of days in a row. As long as they aren't - you know - dirty. Underwear, however, has a strict 24-hour shelf life and is never clean if you've slept in them.

7) I sometimes hide out in the bathroom. I claim constipation, really I just want an extra few minutes to read and be alone.

*Bonus!!* 8) I have a Myspace! However, I only have two friends and I don't 'decorate' - even though IRL I am a web designer.

There you go! I could have went on and on. I think I'm over the have-nothing-to-blog-about bug. I don't think there is anyone left to tag, so thanks for the fun!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?

I've been MIA. Lots of things going on. Nothing worthy of a mention here.

I revisited my New Years Resolutions to see how I'm doing. So far I have failed EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. Seriously. At least I'm consistent.

Tonight my employer is going to be featured on Modern Marvels. I'm definitely excited, but I'll only be taping it to watch later. LOST is on.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Are you all into horses, Christi?

That question was in my comments. I was going to answer it there, but my answer was so long that I decided it deserved a post.

I've been riding horses since I was a baby. All of my earliest memories are on horseback or somehow surrounding horses. When I was growing up I used to joke that we kids would starve before the horses would. That's how it was, the horses came first and we did nothing else. All of my friends had horses. It kept us out of trouble.

I was away from the horse world for about 5 years. The five most miserable years of my life. Not just because there were no horses, but also because there was no horse-therapy. It sucked.

The kids are about as into horses as I was as a child. They like them, but not the work. They do the work because they have to, like any chore. They take the horses for granted because they have never been without. They seem to understand that no matter how tired we (humans) are, the horses depend on us. The husband, he hates them! I tried to find a nice guy who liked horses, but all the boys I've dated that liked horses don't like girls ;)

As for me, there is absolutely no place I'd rather be than at the barn. Except for maybe at a horse show.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

All Quiet on the Homefront

Not a whole lot has been going on. We're gearing up to start the new show season. The fun: new clothes, hours in the barn again, the successes. The not-so-funs: sore butts from riding, empty bank accounts, hours lot to the barn. I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be. We have a show scheduled for every weekend from the last weekend in April through September. Let's see how many we make it to.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Digging Around

I've spent some time digging around for info on my horses' families. Maybe it's because spent so much time no know my own dad, but I feel like I should know a little something about their parents.

Bluberi Moon, whose father (was) Zion Son King and mother StrawberiShortcake, is the mother to my SuchaFancy Bailey (I didn't name!) and her father is Short of Socks, son of Socks of Doc. Te Party Time, a non-relative is the daughter of Te Two Eyed and Storeys Delight. She is also the mother to a yet-unnamed baby, fathered by In Good Taste.

So there! Now if there are any other curious horse-googlers out there, maybe they'll find me and we can swap pictures.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

I Know Things

Today I issued a challenge to a friend to count backward in Spanish. She asked for a second to think about it. I spouted it off before she would get a word in. Knowing I do not speak Spanish, she asked how.

When I was a kid we were taught numbers to 10. Bored one day while on my horse, I practiced doing them backward. So, I said, I recite them like I would the lyrics to a song.

"OH!" she says. "So you know them like I know the alphabet."

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Gas is almost 3 bucks again! I filled up at the pump near my house, which is often the last to go up. I paid 2.60-something a gallon. My truck, with a 28 gallon tank, and a 19 MPG average, needs a lot of gas.

This new gas station has a $50 limit on credit cards at the pump. They blame it on the banks, but I've never seen it elsewhere. Not even on the other branches of this station in town. Needless to say, at this price I often hit that limit. Today I was was sure that I would because I was at 1/4 of a tank.

The pump stopped at $49.35. I briefly felt like I was in a reality show and I had won the jackpot.

Monday, April 09, 2007


I finally bit the bullet and replaced my phone tonight. It was hard because (1) I'm really bad with change and (2) I'm really hard on phones. My current phone phone no longer charges a battery, drops calls, and barely get a signal. This is, no doubt, a response to the frequent trips it has taken to the pavement.

I knew I didn't want a Motorola. I used to have one and hated the menu and the phone. I was lukewarm to Samsung, having had one bad experience with a battery hog. I have always enjoyed my LGs. Problem is? The phones out right now suck. Unless you want a Razr (they are junk) or a Chocolate (junk), you are pretty much SOL. I briefly considered the shock-proof one, but is was made by Casio and ugly.

So, I let my friend be the guinea-pig. She got an EnV about a month ago. She still loves it. So I'm giving it a 15-day run. So far, so good. I'm texting, which I have never gotten into before. We'll see how long the novelty lasts. I purchased insurance based on my track record. So far my disappointment is shutter-lag on the camera. I'm used to shooting with a Nikon D200, so I am not surprised.

I even bought the husband a new (albeit cheaper) phone. And I hid the receipt.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

15 Reasons Why Marrying Someone Twice Your Age is a Bad Idea

My husband is 18 years older than me. My good friend married someone 15 years older than her. We have a lot in common.

  1. They call your music 'crap' that makes their ears bleed.
  2. They stop growing hair on their heads and start growing it on their back.
  3. Suddenly it is your spouse that 'walked 10 miles to school - uphill - both ways'.
  4. You see an old dude at the store and can't remember if he's a friend of your spouse -- or your dad.
  5. They feel the need to parent your friends.
  6. They feel the need to parent you.
  7. When you have a night of drinking and partying they watch patiently from a table instead of joining you.
  8. They gripe at you to pick up your clothes.
  9. And clean under the bed.
  10. They cash in their retirement counting on you to support them in their Golden Years.
  11. They see no humor in you kissing them in public - and then calling them Daddy.
  12. Sex is suddenly PG13
  13. Yes, they get wrinkly down there... and sag too.
  14. You're 31 when they turn 50, that's just gross.
  15. Suddenly the novelty of being a trophy wife wears off and you are just another bad late night joke.

And who said Anna Nicole had it easy?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Another Walk on the Wild Side

I usually don't fill these out because of a paranoia that someone will use an answer to guess a password online. Not a valid paranoia, mind you, because I always lie when I answer the 'secret question' -- lie to the point that even I can't guess the answer. When I forget a password -- that's right, I'm screwed.

What curse word do you use the most? The S-word, I think
Do you own an ipod? A $79 Shuffle, does that count?
What person on your f-list do you talk to the most? F-list? Married people defiantly do not get an f-list!
What time is your alarm clock set to? 6:01 am - which is actually 5:41 am. No, it no longer fools me. I hit snooze twice -- usually.
Do you still remember the first person you kissed? Yes, he is now living with a man.
Do you remember where you were on September 11th, 2001? I was getting ready for my very first appointment with the shrink who told me to leave my first husband. I thought the radio station was doing another 'stunt'.
Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take it
What was the last movie you watched? Blood Diamond
Do any of your friends have children? Yes
Has anyone ever called you lazy? Yes, and I am.
Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? No, my head only has to hit the pillow, and sometimes not even that.
What CD is currently in your CD player? Lots of random CDs that my friend makes with music she steals from the Internet. They never have the same genre of music for two songs in a row.
Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? regular
Has anyone told you a secret this week? No, I'm not so good with the secrets.
When was the last time you had Starbucks? Yuck, never.
Can you whistle? Not well
What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Depends.
What are you looking forward to? Horse Show season
Did you watch cartoons as a child? The few we had with only the local broadcast channels.
Do you own any band t-shirts? no
What will you be doing in one hour? putting kids to bed
Is anyone in love with you? highly doubtful
What was the last song you heard? I have no idea
Last time you cried? yesterday
Desktop computer or a laptop? either or both
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? No
What's the weather like? Wet, but warm
Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos? No
What did you do before this? wrote another post
When is the last time you slept on the floor? a couple of nights ago
How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 3, but I'm a bitch with less than 8
Do you eat breakfast daily? yes
Are your days fast-paced? you have no idea
What did you do last night? My parents' taxes
Do you use sarcasm? Never!
How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 21 - again
Are you picky about spelling and grammar? spoken, yes, but I'm not such a good speller. Most people I know blubber that they 'ain't never got none' -- drives me nuts!
Have you ever been to Six Flags? No
Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex? It's a toss-up. I'm too bossy to get along with most
Do you like mustard? Yuck
Do you sleep on your side? Yes
Do you watch the news? Not usually, too depressing
How did you get one of your scars? I fell off my teeter-totter when I was standing on it and ended up with 5 stitches in my butt, there is still a scar
Who was the last person to make you mad? LOL, seriously?

I've never seen The Godfather Either

I stole this from Karen, who stole this from Traci, who stole it from Michele, who stole it from....

According to the supposed "rules," if you've seen over 85 of these movies, then you have no life.

My count was 58, if I can count right. I've seen bits and pieces of a lot more, but maybe only 5 minutes worth -- long enough to fall asleep. What is really embarrassing is that we own most of those movies. The husband is a huge DVD 'collector' so we must.own.everything. I bet we have 500 movies. I tried doing the math for him one day, but all reason went out the window. His eyes glazed over and I lost him. I pledged long ago to never watch anything made before 1979. A pledge I broke to watch Deliverance, which quite possibly be one of the worse movies ever made.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(X ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
( ) The Princess Bride
( ) AnchorMan
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
(X) American Pie 2
(X) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
( ) Harry Potter 1
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
(X) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(X) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(X) Robots
( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
(X) KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) King Kong
( ) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
(X) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(X) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving Christmas
( ) Flubber
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
(X) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
(X) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
( ) Bad Boys
(X) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
( ) Ocean’s Eleven
( ) Ocean’s Twelve
(X) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(X) E.T.
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She’s All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
( ) X-Men
( ) X-2
( ) X3
(X) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
(X) The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
( ) Shrek
( ) Shrek 2
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old Virgin
(X) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
( ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
( ) Base-ketball
(X) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(X) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
( ) Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
(X) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
( ) Kill Bill Vol. 1
( ) Kill Bill Vol. 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
( ) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks: Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks: The Battle For Endor
(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix: Reloaded
( ) The Matrix: Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(X) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

Dollar Days

I saw a commercial today advertising that the Dollar General was having a clearance with up to 75% off. The Dollar General is a store that, like the Dollar Tree and countless others, offers generic merchandise for $1.

What kind of clearance could they possibly need? I say donate it to Goodwill and be done with it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


Well, after the backlash following the great dog saga, the dog is home and no longer lives at the barn. However, she still lives outside. She's loving it, the kids are loving it, and everyone seems happy.

I'm exhausted.

Friday, March 16, 2007

NuWave Media is for Suckers

I stumbled upon this gem tonight:

So, for the bargain price of $30, they will submit your site to 400 search engines (396 of which no one ever uses) and 25 directories -- TWICE! Well then! Why twice? Do people really still do mass submits? Or you can opt for the 9000 search engines. That is Nine THOUSAND, folks. Hold me back. Ignore that they use the same title tag on every page. And no style sheet.

If that isn't enough, how about some doorway pages? Clearly against Google's quality guidelines, but that part is left out. So, for the grand price of $59.95 you can get submission to 9000 search engines and 150 junky directories -- AND -- get banned from the search engine that owns about 70% of the market.

Sounds like a deal.

Why I Grind my Teeth

My dog is a barn dog. She's lived at the barn since I've gotten her. The barn is at my Grandma's house. I bought her a nice $350 pen to live in to keep her safe.

In November my aunt's dog came to live with her. They are sisters. My aunt's dog moved into my $350 pen and my $100 dog house. Rent free. She has provided dog food for them for approximately 7 nights of the almost 4 months her dog has been there. I have provided the rest. I also provide the labor it takes to feed them.

Today her daughter (who is an adult) decided to let them out unsupervised. They dog pound caught them. I now have about $200 in fees to pay. She said that was the price of owning a dog. Apparently she missed the chapter about providing room & board. And the responsibility it takes to have them.

Sometimes I seriously hate my family.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

On Becoming a Man

A few weeks ago, Shawn, the 9 year old, played dodgeball at the YMCA. On the way home I asked if he had fun. He said it was great until he got hit with a ball between the legs and then he cried.

I said, "So you got hit where it counts?"

After a moment of thought he replies, "No, they said it didn't count, but it sure did hurt!"

Yea, I imagine.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Hey Cherie!

Happy Birthday tomorrow! I hope it's a good one!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Educational Experience

We finally got a new home phone 'system'. It came with a new answering machine and, most importantly, two cordless phones whose batteries last longer than 5 minutes. The man of the house, a computer tech for several years, was in charge of getting it going.

I checked the messages tonight. Imagine my surprise to find our answering machine talking in Spanish! Imagine the surprise of those who left messages! I figured I'd be able to get it into English by pressing buttons. The only Spanish I know is my numbers (to 10) and anything Dora's managed to get into my head (like swimming pool and whatever 'vamonos' means). I erased the messages without a problem -- luckily it wasn't made by Google and it didn't try to translate those. However the menu kept saying siete.. -- so I kept pressing 7. I finally gave up and consulted the manual. Coincidentally, the manual that stated the default language would be English. I eventually got the stupid thing to talk to me in the language that is spoken in this country. The siete? Well, it was saying 'press 7 to repeat the menu'. DUH!

I now know how to say 'You have zero messages' in Spanish. It least I think that is what it was saying. It could have been calling me a dumb monkey for all I know; I took German in school.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Happy Birthday 3 Year Old!

Happy Birthday, Megan! The first three years of your life has been a wild ride for us all! Keep the world on it's toes, honey, you deserve nothing less than the best!

Love you,


Thursday, March 01, 2007

Conspiracy Theorist

Today one of my Google Ads was for Jenny Craig. Think it was a subtle hint? I almost deleted my blog out of spite.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

OK, I Promise

If you just let me find my truck payment book that has been missing for two months, I promise to be nice AND eat my vegetables for a week.

Well, at the very least I'll hold the door open for someone.


I found it. Somewhere I have looked at least three dozen times. But not before cleaning out my truck and half of my paper stash. I think it's God's way of telling me I need to be a neater and nicer person. Umm.. Good luck on that. But, thanks for looking out!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Random Obsession

Some people collect stamps, some people collect cats, some people even store food for winter, me? I stockpile ink cartridges for my photo printer. At least I used to. I loss interest before I used them all.

It's Not Me, It's the Rest of the World

So my new mouse came -- a week ago. Tonight I finally got up enough energy to clean off my desk to have a place to put it. I hate the new keyboard. The keys feel funny and they have a different font on them. But anyways, not the point.

I'm also tired of getting nagged about my irrational paper obsession. It's not that I like to save everything, it's just that I don't want to deal with it. So I lay it aside. Now my bills get paid - usually - but everything else? Well, let's put it this way, I have unopened mail from at least 6 months ago laying on my desk. I have even stopped all legitimate mail from coming to me, opting instead for online statements that I can ignore. They sit, unopened, in my inbox. The junk mail monster? Well it's not that I have a problem throwing it away. It's just that it is much easier to throw it on the table and hope it disappears. It's the same with the letters from the teachers. I almost missed conferences this time around because I never filled out the paper. My paycheck? Well, it's direct deposit, but I have no idea what I'm getting paid because I never look. I also haven't checked the answering machine in at least a month and a half. I hope no one died.

I have an obscene procrastination problem that I deal with by ignoring. Imagine the irony there.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Kudos to Logitech

I use this mouse and keyboard at home: Logitech LX700. I've always loved it. A few days ago, however, my mouse stopped working. Yes, it was charged. I emailed Logitech and got a canned answer, asking me to do what I already tried to remedy the situation. My keyboard still works great. Today I called. I explained the situation and that I'd already tried the usually solutions.

They are sending me a whole new combo without any hassles or questions! It will be replaced with the MX3000 in less than two weeks. However I do not believe the new set features rechargeable batteries in the mouse. I will not have to send the old set in, so maybe I can get my original one fixed. Either way, I am pleased with their service.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

D to the U to the M to the B

What is with the rash of songs that make you feel as if you are in a 6th grade spelling bee? For example: Fergalicious by Fergie or Holla Back Girl by Gwen Stefani (Warning, do not click the links unless you want a billion pop-ups).

It's like: I can't think of anything intelligent to sing about, so lemme spell some words for you. I wonder which member of their creative staff was in charge of the dictionary?

Reminds me of my favorite Rap song of all time: SuperSonic by JJ Fad -- but at least they made their letters stand for something.

The S is for Super and the U is for Unique, the P is for Perfection
and you know that we are freaks. The E is for exotic and the R is for Raps. SO
tell those nosey people just to stay the hell back.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

I've been running around like a crazed woman for days. Trying to find time to exercise, trying to find time for 4-H, trying to find time to breathe. I suddenly find that all of a sudden there are about 3.5 million people who need me, and so I don't have time to need myself.

I had my review at work. Went as well as expected, maybe better. I suddenly find myself wanting to work harder -- which I'm sure is a psychological response. I don't have time for that either.

My conclusion? God is definitely a man. A woman would have made days 35 hours long -- at least.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Operation: Make my Jeans Fit Me

Well, Day Two of Operation: Make my Jeans Fit Me went well. I did more, feel great, still motivated. I HAD to buy an Ipod to have tunes of course. I'm looking forward to getting up before 5 to make it to the YMCA. The big worry? Being able to drag myself away to go to work!

I just wish I could see results sooner. Any ideas? My sources say 1-2 months. Depressing.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Nice in Theory

This is not even close to being true.

Your Life Path Number is 6

Your purpose in life is to help others

You are very compassionate, and you offer comfort to those around you.
It pains you to see other people hurting, and you do all in your power to help them.
You take on responsibility, and don't mind personal sacrifice. You are the ultimate giver.

In love, you offer warmth and protection to your partner.

You often give too much of yourself, and you rarely put your own needs first.
Emotions tend to rule your decisions too much, especially when it comes to love.
And while taking care of people is great, make sure to give them room to grow on their own.

Making a Comeback

Well I thought my New Year's Resolutions had all but been forgotten. It appears that I've caught my second wind. Since Wednesday, I've dramatically cut my pop intake. I am down to two caffeinated beverages a day. Just. Like. That. Sure I have added a Diet Root Beer, but even with that I am drastically down.

I joined the YMCA again today. I had a family membership a few years ago. In an entire year I think we went 5 times. Seriously. More than $600 for a few nights of swimming. I went with my mom today. We walked about a mile and a half. We rode some really cool recumbent exercise bikes for 15 minutes. I think I could stick to those. They open at 5am so I am going to TRY to get up and go before work at least 3 days a week. Wish me luck.

Main Goals: To fit into those size 5 jeans again and to be able to walk a mile without nearly passing out. We'll reassess in a month.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Never Gonna Give You Up

As previously mentioned, I didn't meet my father until I was an adult. I was well in to my teens before I even knew what his name was. I used to blame my mother for keeping him from me. Now that I have kids of my own from a less-than-ideal man male, I understand. She was protecting me.

The other day I heard a song by Rick Astley. When I was a kid I had a cassette single with this song on it and I would clutch it at night and cry. I would pretend that HE was my dad and he was singing to me. He just couldn't come and see me because of my mom, and well, duh, he was famous! I didn't even have a clue what the song was about, I just knew it said he was never going to give me up and never going to let me down or lie to me. It was like he was singing directly to me. It got me through a lot of painful nights. I'm very thankful for bad 80's music. And for the fact my mom suffered plenty to protect me. Not all mothers would sacrifice so much.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Happy Homecoming

The husband is home. After giving me a quick kiss that missed my lips by a few inches and making a phone call to someone, he went to bed. Never noticing that I had spent the last day ensuring the house was clean. Never playing with the kid who had been wishing all week he'd come home and play. Getting a whole hell of lot more sleep than I was going to get.

Why did I get married again? Oh yea, to get a better deal on the taxes.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Petty Thief

I just spend 91 dollars at WalMart for laundry detergent and milk. Yea, that's right, the two year old was with me. Upon leaving, I get tackled by the greeters for some stuff that was too big to be bagged. I wonder about the effectiveness of this program. I know if I were a thief, I'd certainly steal a gianormous bag of jumbo paper towels instead of something I could easily fit in my pocket.

Perfect Logic.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Two Days Down

Well, I've made it through two days without the hubby. We are all still alive. Somewhat grumpier than normal, somewhat more exhausted. All I can say is that I could never be a single parent again. The two older ones are behaved (more of less) and at least fear the mean face. The baby? Well she laughs at the mean face. And she makes me want to jump off the roof.

We might make it. At least the baby might. Her survival skills are obviously the strongest.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Way it Works

I've never understood why women who work with other women think they can gossip about each other and it not get around.

I think that says it all.

Monday, January 15, 2007

T-Minus 1

One more day, that is that I have with the hubby before he's off for his 5-day thingy in the great state of Utah. We spent a rare night as a family without everyone jetting off everywhere. At first I was uber-excited at the thought of 5 whole days without picking up after myself... without getting my paper thrown away... without hearing him grouch at the lazy-butt kids who happen to be spending their last amount of energy fighting with each other. Now I'm scared! It's been over a year since he's had to leave town for training. Last time it was an hour flight away. This time it is across the country. I remember how much work it is doing it alone. Hey, the kids still have to eat, and shower, and all that stuff that we usually divide and conquer. Who is going to take the trash out?

I guess I'll find out soon enough. For once, Sunday can't come fast enough.

Saturday, January 13, 2007


Reluctantly I agreed to do a website about a year ago for one of the hubby's friends. Not even one I particularly care about because this is the 'drop everything when he calls guy'. He's always late, never prepared, and in general drives me nuts. I agreed to update the thing last night for the hubby's sake. Not for the fun. Not for the glory. Not even for the few bucks I make doing it. Which, but the way, is not enough to cover wasting my Friday night. I did it for the hubby. Because he thinks I'm selfish. I only ask if he can come after 9 so I can play with the kids and relax before bedtime. He can't. 6:30 it is.

He shows up at 10 till 8. Ten minutes before a new episode of Ghost Whisperer is on. Over an hour since I've been waiting. No call. Then he isn't prepared. Want to know what time he leaves? After 12 freaking thirty. So the baby is up until one because she goes to bed with me.

The whole time he's here, this is what I'm hearing from him: Do you know what ROI means?(yes, thanks, I'm not twelve) Then a half-ass explanation before I can answer. Do you even know what scalable means? Yes, I interject.. able to grow. OH! He says, I didn't think you'd know what that meant! 'I though you would say something about fish.' OMFG - that is what he said! Really, it was like that all night. Finally I said: "(Name withheld), I can't spell, but I still passed English. I'm not stupid." Yes, I said it rudely. It didn't help.

Then I asked him if he knew what pompous meant. Ok, maybe not so much. But I really, really wanted to.

Just Say NO!

I had to take my truck into my dealership's service center today. I was 2000 miles past the 3000 mark that they force you to change your oil at. I'm quite sure it could go at least 6k, as sure as I am that 93 octane isn't any better for my truck than the cheapo crap I put in. However, lovely General Motors decided that the sticker doesn't get people to go in so they devised an idiot light to annoy me with CHANGE ENGINE OIL every time I start it. Every 5000 miles. If only the hubby could program it to say .. DO THE DISHES .. then maybe he wouldn't have to. It's that annoying.

Anyways, I barely handed the (new guy) jerk my keys and he's wanting me to rotate and balance my tires (that I did last time I was in). No thanks. Is it alright to upgrade your oil change? Then we can top off all the fluid levels. Again, no thanks. Can we? NO! Really? NOOOO!

After waiting over an hour, an hour that I'm sure they used to read my pay stubs and possibly steal my identity from all the crap I leave in my vehicle, the jerk is back. OH NO! He's almost frantic. Good thing he (read: the stupid card I agreed to when I bought it) gave me a complementary 28-point inspection!!! It seems that every fluid in my truck with 37,000 miles on it is dirty. It seems my truck is on the verge of total meltdown. I need (fill in 300+ fluids that I'm sure are maybe inside) changed! NOW! Um, how's about no, buddy?! He shakes his head at me and walks away. Devastated at the thought I might have to walk to work on Monday because surely my truck won't run... or the thought he just missed about $200 worth of sales. However, that odd noise I was concerned about? The one that sounded like grinding when I turn? That was nothing. This is why people do not trust mechanics.

You don't even WANT to know what I wanted to title this post, but it had something to do with bending. Let's leave it at that. Final bill? $12.95

Thursday, January 11, 2007

True Confessions

Sometimes I just like to reflect on how weird I truly am.

  • When I do my 12-14 loads of laundry for the week, I'll do towels last. Then instead of folding them, we'll have to live out of the dryer all week if we need a towel. And I would NEVER reuse one without washing.
  • Sometimes I'll just lay my lunchbox on the kitchen counter at the end of the day because I know the hubby will empty it and I won't have to.
  • I have a constant headache from my teeth-grinding - and other stuff. Most days I live on a constant dose of Advil and Tylenol every 4-6 hours.
  • Sometimes I'm mean because mean people get more respect.
  • I read the comics daily. And my horoscope.
  • I can't draw, sing, or cook - but I keep trying.
  • I sometimes manipulate people to get what I want.
  • I've always wanted to make my mother proud.
  • I don't eat foods that are green. I'm not sure why.
  • I will eat an M&M I dropped on the floor, but not a steak that is on the wrong plate.
  • I sometimes have to dig to find my mouse.
  • I sometimes lose my shoes, but only ever one at a time. No one knows why.
  • My house would be a wreck if I hadn't have had the foresight to marry a neat-freak.
  • I can spend an entire weekend on the sofa watching stupid movies, too lazy to even get up to eat.
  • I think driving a big truck makes me look important. Running over every curb, however, makes me look pretty stupid.
  • I was extra-relieved when I hit the camera in the McDonald's drive through and found out my mirrors fold in - when enough pressure is put on them.
  • I would never want to be anyone else than who I am. My issues seem normal.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Finally! The Triangle Peg Puzzle Solution

I try to solve this puzzle every time we go to the Cracker Barrel. The Boy got one in his stocking this year. After some intense losing, I finally stumbled on the answer. Then it took another half hour to remember how I did it. Generally I have 5 or more left at the end. I'm not sure how dumb that makes me.

I'm also really bad at tic tac toe.

Heard it From a Friend Who Heard it From a Friend

I was at The Mean Mom and found a blog titled I stabbed him in the head with a fork (who can resist that?!) who pointed out they saw at Why Are You Stalking Me? who linked the post of Paper Napkin that it is De-lurking Week. Dizzy Yet? I think I have all the credit in there at the right places. So say Hi! or YO! or that This place is irritating! Whatever, but be bold and de-lurk!

Or make me look dumb and don't comment at all

Hey Ohio: DUH!

Recently Ohio voted to raise min wage from $5.15 to $6.85 an hour. I think there was a record turnout at the polls. I'd never seen lines so long. Time to elect a President, everyone stays home to watch talk shows... but offer to raise the min wage and even the dead seem to crawl out of the woodwork.

All of a sudden our local paper is screaming with headlines that say: Will hike hit you in the pocketbook? Some say price rise needed for businesses to survive and Expert projects wage hike 'ripple effect' -- Well DUH! How else is McDonalds going to make the same kind of profit on a Big Mac? So here is what happens: The local teenager who used to make $5.15 an hour is now going to be replaced. By someone who is worth $6.85 an hour. Meanwhile, prices are going to go up all around to cover costs. Hours will be reduced. We'll get crappier service and lesser quality. Do you think I'll get an extra buck-seventy an hour because society feels sorry for me? Doubt it. Way to go voters!

Meanwhile the teenager who no longer has a job is now unemployable and will have to rob houses and sell drugs. They'll make more than ever. The middle class will no longer be able to support their fast food habit. Those people who never aspire to do more with their lives than minimum wage? Well, don't you worry... they will be OK!

My first 'real' job at 16 paid $4.30 an hour. Just above minimum wage at the time. Within a year I was making $7 an hour. How? I worked hard, I looked for opportunities. I always did more than was asked of me. I always did my best no matter how crappy I felt. I was dependable and made myself indispensable. I worked through college. Then I looked for a better job. The people I encounter working McJobs and bussing tables -- might be worth $4 and hour on a good day.

Really, society, give hard work a try. It's time to step out of the hand-out line.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Good Point - Peeves Remix

The issue of things spelled creatively came up in the comments. The example was 'Kindergarten Korner'. I HATE THAT. I do not like it when 'ks' becomes 'x' as in Worx or Chex. I don't do Kookie Kutters or Kritters, not even Kustom Kolors. I don't say thanx (maybe once). I'm not kool enough. or kewl. When I was 5 I informed the cashier at Toys R Us that their R was backward on the sign outside. She laughed and tried to explain it. I still think it is stupid.

The only - and I mean only - place that doesn't bother me: Krispy Kreme. Even I can't complain when the doughnuts are that good.

And sorry to all the mothers that have decided that there are 45 ways to spell Mackenzie. That is just wrong. As a child I never could find pencils with my name on them. I'm still trying to recover.

Giving Props

Sweet and Buttery Popcorn - it's been my dinner 3 nights this week. As there has only been 3 days - Exactly. Almost as good as the flavor I'm sure it replaced: Honey Butter.

Maurices - the clothing store I've come to love. I'm not a fashion guru, so their killer displays help. Everything seems to be compatible with everything else. A little expensive, but the time it saves... awesome!

Covington Boots - Nice and comfy. I love them so much that I bought them in brown after owning them in black for a few weeks. I can walk in them all day.

The Devil Wears Prada - If you like Ugly Betty, you will love this movie. You have to love the way the girls sticks out a hard situation and excels.

The fact that the new TV season is beginning. I don't get to watch a lot of TV, but when I do I love that there are new shows.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Pet Peeves

The last book I read had two errors in it. I found them without looking, so I can only imagine if I had been... It used 'He' when it should have said 'She' and it seriously had 'a lot' spelled as one word.

My two biggest pet peeves in the written language: People who spell 'a lot' as one word.. and people who omit the last comma when listing a series of something. For example: I do not like bananas, grapefruit and oatmeal.

I've only been told to lighten up twice this week.

Karma is Evident

I've been working hard at work. I've been taking chances and that thing called initiative. It paid off. I was promoted. Which means more money, more responsibility, and I'm getting paid for the extras I was doing anyways. Which means my horoscopes for the last two months have been exactly right. Reviews are in two weeks. I seriously can not wait. It's almost like conference time was for me in school -- only better.

I wish I could invite my parents.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Not Another Teen Movie

I have bad skin. I've always had bad skin. I remember one year, the week before school started, I decided that I would cure my acne once and for all. I used everything I could find in the medicine cabinet and scrubbed my face on the hour, every hour, for days. It didn't work. I considered the toilet chemicals under the sink, but I was afraid of a chemical reaction that would cause my head to explode. Not pretty. Instead I grew out my bangs and it helped a lot.

Ever since my hair cut a few weeks back, I've actually been 'doing' my hair. Which requires hairspray. And hair on my face. And skin. Which means? Breakout time. I clean my face twice a day to no avail. Seriously, how many people in their late 20's have to deal with a Rudolph nose? (yes, bright red, on the tip)

Thanks Mom.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Tis the Season

I don't think I've done a positive post in a while. I was born a complainer so whining just comes easier. Let's be thankful for some things.

My kids - They are doing well in school (finally! for the boy) and seem happy and well adjusted.. despite certain obstacles in their lives. The littlest one (who has yet to encounter an obstacle) is darn near genius. At 2, I'm fairly sure she's more advanced than any ten year old I've met. And that is only partially her mother talking.

The hubby - Although he is a constant source of frustration and - well - the urge to break things... he is so good to me. I'm proud of him. He is truly the most considerate person I've ever met. And I'm extremely hard to please.

The job - Not what I saw myself doing. Not even a job I thought I'd last 6 months at, but here I am with well over a year in and starting to think I'm a lifer. The monetary rewards are great, but the personal satisfaction and praise is so much better.

Our health - For the first time in a month no one is up all night coughing. I can breathe through my nose again. It won't last long, but I'm glad for the time I have.

My animals - Winter months are not fun for having outdoor animals. Mine are being very patient in waiting out the cold and the fact that it must be at least 45 to keep me outdoors longer than it takes to throw food. They all are staying pleasantly healthy.

and last, but not least,

My friends - My IRL peeps that get me through the work day (Hey gang #53!) and all of my digital friends (couldn't bring myself to say 'cyber'). Those of you who leave comments and make me smile because someone is thinking of me and those of you who are just reading. I know you are here, I check ;) Thank you all for making me feel loved.

I hope that 2007 brings everyone as much joy as 2006 brought me. Life is good.

How to Seriously Annoy Me

When I try to find a flight on a certain day and your website helpfully asks what time I want to leave .. and then totally disregards this by showing my flights that leave more than 12 hours earlier.

Had I wanted to leave anytime, I'd have checked that option, thank you.