My oldest turned 10 yesterday. Seems like just yesterday he was born. I was 18 and terrified. I was a couple of months into a marriage that wasn't going so well and I had no support system. At least not a very functional one. My mother wasn't really talking to me. I was 17 and a senior in high school when I got pregnant. And on the honor roll. And on my way to college with a full-ride scholarship. She wasn't very happy. Now, I understand.
10 years and one very messy divorce later, everything has turned out ok. As much as I hated my mother for not being there when I needed her most, I've forgiven her. What I was really angry about was that I knew she was doing the wrong thing. What I didn't know was that she didn't know it was the wrong thing. I thought that she should have all the answers.
The hardest thing that I have learned in the last 10 years is that parents never have all the answers. All we can do is the very best that we know how with what we have. So I am constantly trying to forgive my parents for mistakes I think they made. Mistakes that I am sure they agonized about the same way I agonize about every decision I make. I hope some day my oldest will come to this same conclusion. And with the turbulent teenage years coming up, I hope he chooses to forgive me.
Well I finally took some time to work on this thing. I changed the colors of this blog a few weeks ago to reflect that it is now fall. I've added some new widgets. Some will stay, some will go. It was fun making Blogger do things it didn't want to do. Look for more changes to come...
I like to think I'm snacking healthy. I work at a desk all day so I snack a lot more than I should. I'm averaging 10 pounds heavier than I was when I started my job two years ago.
I used to eat from the vending machine, but they raised their prices. And usually have crappy food. I've tried hard candy, mini muffins, mints, and a host of other things. I thought I hit pay dirt when I found the 100 calorie bags of mini muffins. Except there are FOUR muffins in a bag. So I had to eat two bags. So now we are up to 200 calories and they cost about 10 times more. And I'm still hungry.
I tried to venture out with Nabisco's 100 Calorie Healthy Snacks. I got the Chips Ahoy kind. I didn't expect much. However.... they were great! They were lots of them in the bag, they crunched, and the taste was exactly like the real thing. I just wish they made them in a bigger box so they didn't cost a fortune.
Definitely worth a try if you are trying to cut back on snacking.
I've never been fond of birthday celebrations. It possibly stems from not having many birthday parties as a child. I know there were a few, I've seen pictures of me as a baby. I don't personally remember any from my childhood. I don't like cake and I hate the pressure of the candles. I've had a few parties for the kids, but I'd much rather just get them a bigger present and forgo the party. So, they are doomed to repeat my pattern -- but at least they get presents.
Today was the birthday. I went to dinner with my grandma out of obligation (her birthday is tomorrow). My middle child blabbed to the waitress and I was forced to endure the dreaded server singing. I could have choked her. I tried to be a good sport, but all I really want for my birthday is to be left alone for a few hours and not have to deal with a party.
The highlight of my day: That same middle daughter, who was obsessed with my birthday, asked how old I was. I answered 20-something (fill in the something with the right number, I'm not telling).
She said, "WOW! That's not so good." --- Exactly.
I'm barely awake this morning and the almost-10-year-old sticks a baggie under my nose. Inside was a tooth. As I'm wondering where the heck he found a tooth he goes: "AH - HA!"
"I told you there was no tooth fairy!"
Thinking fast, but not that fast, I realize he lost the tooth the day before and didn't tell me to test his theory. I shushed him because his sisters were in the room. When they left, he went over his master plan with me, grinning from ear to ear. He caught me. I briefly considered coming up with a lie to keep him believing, but in a moment of weakness I decided he was old enough to know the truth.
"Ok, so you caught me, I am the tooth fairy," I tell him. "But you're the genius who is out two bucks!" His smile starts to fade as he catches on. He decided he still believes in Santa.
I am a saver. I married the opposite. I save papers, toys, clothes, EVERYTHING. I have every school paper ever done by all three children. Considering I have a 4th grader, that is a lot. A few years back I finally threw away MY old school papers. From high school that is. I'm keeping the college stuff. You never know when I might want to become an accountant or a psychologist. Or maybe I can treat myself for free.
Storage is a problem. Right now I have a million 'green totes' - filled and stacked in the basement. They hold all the clothes the kids ever wore, books, computer parts (those ARE the hubby's). You name it and you can find it.
Some day I'd like a garage. Not for my truck, but for this stuff, it's kind of cool: storage solutions (totally sponsored link, but still cool stuff).
I took a vacation day today to help my mom find something to wear to my brother's wedding this weekend. Vacation days are cherished because (1) I only get 10 a year, (2) I do not get sick time, so if one of us gets sick, I have to take a vacation, and (3) I need to save 5 days for the county fair the first week of July.
Today I also did 5 loads of laundry, the dishes, and various other cleaning. I can't wait to go back to work so I can get a freaking break.
Little things irk me. I'm what you'd call high-maintenance, inflexible, and generally just a pain in the ass.
I had a teacher in the 8th grade whose mission was to teach the world that 'a lot' was two words and not one. She failed.
After my last frustrating experience with Verizon, I decided to sign up for Vonage. With a promise of a modem appearing at my door in 2 business days and a month free service, I was excited to be rid of long-time loser, Verizon (formerly GTE). I had to pay at $42 setup fee.
That was two weeks ago. Still no modem. I called to cancel. Well, turns out I have to call yet another phone number that is only open limited hours. I couldn't cancel with the same people I placed the order with. And they still have my $42.
Now I hate all phone companies.
When someone posts something like this in a blog...
For those of you who told me I'd never make anything of myself and those of
you who tried to knock me down every time I tried to get up (and for those of
you reading this that really should have no business doing it)...
It makes you wonder if they do not understand what a blog is. If you don't want to share it, then find a way to keep your mouth shut - or don't post it on the Internet. Seriously.
270 days. That is how long one can go without paying on their student loans before these people really get pissed. I was one of the lucky ones, I left school only owing $3600 -- well plus another 4 grand on a credit card. After I got a real job, it was time to start paying those loans. At first I was ok with that.
Then I got this and this and this, and pretty soon the last thing I wanted to spend my money on was my student loans. I heard stories about people who owed on them for years and no big deal. So I started throwing the statements away. I figured if I had any money left at the end of the month... well that day didn't come. I'm the type of person who spends $1.25 for every $1 I make.
Well eventually they did get really angry. And they started talking about garnishing my wages! How embarrassing! So, ok, I paid them their money and they are happy and I get one less pair of shoes a month. I actually had to argue with them that no, I haven't really fallen on hard times - I just am really bad at prioritizing.
So, in case you ever wondered, you can go 270 days, but not a second more.
I seriously hate asking for salt at Wendy's or McDonalds and being gifted with 10 packets in my bag. Who needs 10 packets of salt for one medium fry? For that matter, who needs 10 packets of salt - EVER!
Here are some other ways to annoy me: