All That and a Bag of Chips

I like to shop. A lot. It works out well for me that our family hits WalMart at least once a week. Our town got a Super WalMart a few years ago. As I suspected, prices went up, quality went down. Everytime I go there I either (1) see someone I know, (2) see someone I think I know, and (3) buy 10 times the amount of stuff I need. WalMart is the only store I've ever entered for a tube of chapstick and came out $200 poorer.
Here's some tips from a pro:

• Don't take a cart. Even if you think you might like one, don't. It will save you money.
• Don't go on the first of the month, the first weekend of the month, or any weekend there is not a major sporting even on tv. Not if you live in a hick town.
• Avoid the electronics area. You really don't need that 100th compilation of 80's music. Start stealing it from the Internet like the rest of the world.
• Paying in cash, not a good idea. Your cashier will be out of change. Often they won't have a clue how to make change in the first place.
• You don't need a 5 gallon bottle of shampoo. Ever.
• At Fall clearance time they move the clothing out to the garden center and the plants to the entrance of the store. No one is sure why.
• Don't buy movies for the kids anymore. Remember that electronics aisle I warned you about? Send them there while you grocery shop. You save money and they see the latest releases for free, everybody wins.
• When you can't find your jumbo box of cereal or your $1.88 tub of butter - or even a single diaper in your kid's size in a brand that will not leak at night - remember, WalMart is destroying the world.

Now let me find my car keys...