A Tad Disappointed

I was so excited for premier week. Private Practice, the Grey's Anatomy spin off, was a super-hyped disappointment. Instead of the passion seen from Grey's, it was more like a cheap Strong Medicine. Where the hell is Addison's fire? She gets a new show and an extreme personality makeover?

Grey's is half over and also a disappointment. I realize these kids have to find their adolescence, but it seems like the writers were asleep in this episode. Not leaving anything to chance, Izzy is a complete flake, Christina is mean, and Meredith's sister has completely become who she was last year. I sure hope it gets better than this. At this point, even I can predict the plot.

I Hate Verizon

A month ago I changed my calling plan online to one that better suits our needs. Actually, the only thing I use my landline for is send the occasional fax once a week from home. Seriously. So instead of paying $50+ a month, I'd like to pay $20. No-brainer right?

Well fast-forward to this month's bill. Still $50+ Called their helpful number to change service. Well... the only thing I could do there was UPGRADE. In order to select a lesser package, I have to call back and be put on hold for forever.... during the day. The daytime when I am at work. So how is that possible? Exactly. Time to dump Verizon.

Brat Hart

I wanted to test the slow motion on the camcorder... but not how she wanted me to do it. Yes, that is her swinging at me in the end. This is typically how my night goes. A better parent would have put the camcorder down, but I wanted to share what I get to see every day.

Rebuilding

While the new computer is nice and fast and pure...

... Having to install all the stupid software I need sucks. Finding the CDs sucks worse. Must.Get.Organized.

The Saga Continues...

So I was flying high when I got my new camcorder the other day. Well that lasted until I tried to burn my first DVD. And my second.. and the third.. and well you get the point. Notice I said 'tried'

After a half-dozen coasters, the new camcorder was about to get chucked out the window that was so conveniently placed in my office for just these occasions. I consulted the book. And the digital manual. And the web. Well, then I got a little smarter. I read the freaking box. Turns out my dinosaur (circa 2005) of a computer didn't have enough (insert male anatomy part here) to handle it. We're talking Sony proprietary software -- not even something made by Pinnacle or Adobe. Nice. Thanks, dear hubby, for talking me into the AMD back then to save a few bucks.

So then my options were to (1) take back the camcorder, (2) keep it and never watch the movies I recorded, or (3) get a new system. Guess what I picked? HELLO Core 2 Duo :) So, since I haven't had a chance to install any software to bog it down, I feel like I'm flying. And the videos.. look great on DVD.

The only problem is getting the kids to get off their butts and do something video-worthy.

Why I'm always so Grouchy

This is why sane people start drinking..

On Getting Older

A few years back, right after divorce #1, I started a tradition of buying gifts for myself. I had never allowed myself selfish purchases before because, well we were poor. My first gift was a digital camera for my first Valentine's Day alone in 2003. It was a Kodak LS 443 and yes, I paid $500 for it. That was an enormous amount of money for me, but I saved and paid cash. I was ROCKIN' with 4MP and a great zoom. I still have that camera today.

This year for my birthday I traded my MacMini to the husband and some cash for a new camcorder. I wanted the Sony SR300, but they didn't stock it in the store and I wanted it today, so I settled for the HDR-SR5. I'm still deciding if it will make it past the 14 day period when I can take it back, but so far so good. Now I need a new processor because these videos make mine chug ;)

It helped that I used the excuse that my little brother is getting married next month and I'd like to tape it for him.

Walk Away While You Can

In a desperate attempt to keep my head above water, I've been avoiding the computer at home. It's my old friend that offers me comfort, but I don't want that. Really, I just want to be angry.

Here is the brief:

1. ** Edited for Safety **
2. I have to do the dishes way too much.
3. I survived the Popcorn Festival (by not going) and taking all three kids to another county's fair.
4. Dan and I might work things out.
5. I will not be a homeowner either way.
6. My family really pisses me off.
7. I'm trying to re-establish a relationship with my bio-dad. My hunch is I'll get hurt again.
8. My kids have too much homework.
9. I hate cleaning.
10. I need about 10 more hours in each day.
11. I wish I had all the answers.

I'm going to try to find the lighter side, in the hopes that you all haven't run for the hills.

Flirting with the Bright Side

First, thank you everyone for your support. It helps to know I'm not alone.

I'm feeling at ease today. Less overwhelmed. I'm trying to complete the loan papers for the house. It's tempting to ignore it, but it has to be done. The funny thing is.. 3 kids and 2 husbands later... I'm just not sure I'm ready to make the kind of commitment it takes to buy a house.

My priorities are definitely screwed up.

Needing some Cheese

Well today didn't go all that bad. But I'm still going to whine a little.

It seems like my world is falling apart. I know this is what I wanted. It doesn't really make it all that much easier. I try not to get all dark and personal here, but I'm concerned. I know that I'm not sad about losing someone who I was supposed to love.

What I wonder... when was the last time I said I loved someone and really meant it? And have I actually ever? I just don't know if I'll ever let someone in. But the first step is admitting the problem, right?

The problem, folks, is me.

The End...

Ok, so we have court tomorrow. It's going to be ugly. and nasty. and I hate it already. I'm going to bed, but if you see this, wish me luck, patience, and a whole lotta Valium.

Famous Quotes

In honor of my BFF, Amanda:

The best part about having a boyfriend... is always knowing where you left your underpants.

Red Ex

Today I followed a red Ford Explorer with the above-named personalized plates. We went over an overpass where they stopped at every.single.pothole. to navigate around. Then they went a good 15 mph under the posted 35 mph down a residential street.

OK, so I understand being cautious.

Then they turned - a hard fast right turn - without USING THEIR TURN SIGNAL.

Public Service Announcement

My sister is going to be ok.

I like to start off with that because that is the important part. Saturday night / Sunday morning she was a passenger in a very bad car accident that was the result of two dumb girls getting drunk and driving in the fog with no seat belts. They hit a tree. Head. On.

They will both be ok.

Sparing the details, we knew this would happen someday. She is 21 and has a serious problem with alcohol and likely other drugs. We knew it was when, not if. And there wasn't a damn thing we could do about it. This is the third car she has had a part in totalling in 3 months. All booze-related.

So please, if you pray, please pray for her and her friend to learn from this. And please pray that people stop getting into vehicles and driving drunk.

And please talk to your kids about it. Even if they are too young.

Confusion

You don't want to be with me...
...but you're pissed that I don't want to be with you.

So let's convince me to stay by being the biggest ass possible.

Perfect Sense.

Good Intentions

The kids and I had a busy weekend that included Chuck E Cheese, the park, and the zoo. I found a cell phone at the park. It was a nice, newer Verizon phone. After asking around and not finding the owner, I called the home number on it in an attempt to return the phone. I also called the last number dialed when the home number didn't answer. The lady at that number gave me the owner's home address and asked me to drive it there! I eventually got a call back from the owner and she was coming back to the park to get it.

When she showed up and I handed her the phone, she barely grunted a 'thanks' and peeled away. How dare I inconvenience her by making her drive all the way back to the park for her forgotten cell phone.

I instantly wished that I had friends in Europe that I could have called on her dime. Ungrateful hag.

Have Your Pet Spayed or Neutered

In light of my almost-single status, I thought I'd share my favorite bad-date story. Shortly after divorce #1 I started talking to a guy in one of my classes at school. He was a few years older and divorced himself. Not all that great-looking, but I just wanted to get back in the game. I took him up on his offer to have a quick bite at McDonalds one night after class.

Basically at this point we knew each other's names, family situations, and career plans. That was about it. As we were ordering he looked me dead in the eyes and with a straight face asked, "I just have to know, are you fixed?"

I stalled for time and tried to figure out what the hell he was asking exactly, and why. He tried to clarify, "I just wanted to know because you have two kids and I want kids of my own someday."

Needless to say that was our first, and last, date.

False Advertising

Megan has a new bed. Why, at 3, she is finally getting a toddler bed is a long story that starts with the fact her never-slept-in crib converts and ends with her father doesn't want her to grow up so he won't convert it.

We bought a handy little bed at WalMart. The box CLEARLY said 'easy to assemble'. I figured after wrangling it out of the store with Megan in tow and no help from the employees, putting it together would be a snap.

Well they obviously meant it was easy to assemble if you are an engineer or a carpenter or even just someone who has a vague understanding of WHAT THE HELL TO DO. It took several hours and several more cuss words, but I finally got it together. Megan is very pleased and loves sleeping in it.

We have no extra bolts and one unfilled hole, I'm hoping it's their screw-up and not mine...

Party Like a Rockstar

Well Megan did it. She got her ears pierced! Not even a single tear from my big girl.

I should add that I would have liked for her to wait until she was responsible enough .. like at 30.. but I caved. She's a rockstar.

Quite Possibly the Worse Idea Ever

Our local Meijer has TV Karts. For $1 you can lock a kid in the cart and shop in peace.... So they claim. The biggest problem is there is no front windshield (presumably so the kids can breathe). My kid thinks it's an escape exit.

Also, the doors lock - well they kind of lock. Unless you jiggle them enough from the inside. This cart happens to sit children right at the eye level of EVERYTHING THEY WANT. I end up with more junk than if I had used a regular cart. They are also not so cool to push around.

I appreciate the idea, but I hate TV Karts.