Public Service Announcement

My sister is going to be ok.

I like to start off with that because that is the important part. Saturday night / Sunday morning she was a passenger in a very bad car accident that was the result of two dumb girls getting drunk and driving in the fog with no seat belts. They hit a tree. Head. On.

They will both be ok.

Sparing the details, we knew this would happen someday. She is 21 and has a serious problem with alcohol and likely other drugs. We knew it was when, not if. And there wasn't a damn thing we could do about it. This is the third car she has had a part in totalling in 3 months. All booze-related.

So please, if you pray, please pray for her and her friend to learn from this. And please pray that people stop getting into vehicles and driving drunk.

And please talk to your kids about it. Even if they are too young.

Confusion

You don't want to be with me...
...but you're pissed that I don't want to be with you.

So let's convince me to stay by being the biggest ass possible.

Perfect Sense.

Good Intentions

The kids and I had a busy weekend that included Chuck E Cheese, the park, and the zoo. I found a cell phone at the park. It was a nice, newer Verizon phone. After asking around and not finding the owner, I called the home number on it in an attempt to return the phone. I also called the last number dialed when the home number didn't answer. The lady at that number gave me the owner's home address and asked me to drive it there! I eventually got a call back from the owner and she was coming back to the park to get it.

When she showed up and I handed her the phone, she barely grunted a 'thanks' and peeled away. How dare I inconvenience her by making her drive all the way back to the park for her forgotten cell phone.

I instantly wished that I had friends in Europe that I could have called on her dime. Ungrateful hag.

Have Your Pet Spayed or Neutered

In light of my almost-single status, I thought I'd share my favorite bad-date story. Shortly after divorce #1 I started talking to a guy in one of my classes at school. He was a few years older and divorced himself. Not all that great-looking, but I just wanted to get back in the game. I took him up on his offer to have a quick bite at McDonalds one night after class.

Basically at this point we knew each other's names, family situations, and career plans. That was about it. As we were ordering he looked me dead in the eyes and with a straight face asked, "I just have to know, are you fixed?"

I stalled for time and tried to figure out what the hell he was asking exactly, and why. He tried to clarify, "I just wanted to know because you have two kids and I want kids of my own someday."

Needless to say that was our first, and last, date.

False Advertising

Megan has a new bed. Why, at 3, she is finally getting a toddler bed is a long story that starts with the fact her never-slept-in crib converts and ends with her father doesn't want her to grow up so he won't convert it.

We bought a handy little bed at WalMart. The box CLEARLY said 'easy to assemble'. I figured after wrangling it out of the store with Megan in tow and no help from the employees, putting it together would be a snap.

Well they obviously meant it was easy to assemble if you are an engineer or a carpenter or even just someone who has a vague understanding of WHAT THE HELL TO DO. It took several hours and several more cuss words, but I finally got it together. Megan is very pleased and loves sleeping in it.

We have no extra bolts and one unfilled hole, I'm hoping it's their screw-up and not mine...

Party Like a Rockstar

Well Megan did it. She got her ears pierced! Not even a single tear from my big girl.

I should add that I would have liked for her to wait until she was responsible enough .. like at 30.. but I caved. She's a rockstar.

Quite Possibly the Worse Idea Ever

Our local Meijer has TV Karts. For $1 you can lock a kid in the cart and shop in peace.... So they claim. The biggest problem is there is no front windshield (presumably so the kids can breathe). My kid thinks it's an escape exit.

Also, the doors lock - well they kind of lock. Unless you jiggle them enough from the inside. This cart happens to sit children right at the eye level of EVERYTHING THEY WANT. I end up with more junk than if I had used a regular cart. They are also not so cool to push around.

I appreciate the idea, but I hate TV Karts.

Addicted

Ok, so I've been neglecting my blog. A lot. I'm sorry!

I've been pretty busy what with the pending divorce (did I say that out loud?) - and no, I'm not ready to talk about it - and the horse show season being in full-swing. And then there is this MySpace thing. I swore I would never buy into the hype. It was for kids, I'd say. Well, here I am. And guess what? There are a lot of old folks like me there! I've found friends from school that I barely remember.

I also found this girl I grew up with. We were like sisters until I was about 10 or so. Then she just disappeared. While it's cool that she's doing great and she said hey, it's a little weird. I spent so much of my childhood looking up to her and now I have no idea who she is.

So, if you've ventured into Kiddieland, look me up at http://www.myspace.com/myrandomnumber - I'm kind of embarrassed about how few friends I have!

Ironic

Today I did a little my my MySpace page. I feel so *like 12*. Well, I wanted to do the custom name thing they have so that my page is called something other than myspace.com/somerandomnumber -- well I wanted it to be 'Be_fearless'....

.. well it was TAKEN! and not just taken... BUT taken by a girl who rides horses.

I'm pissed.

Tag your it! ;)

When I read this comment, my first inclination was to scratch my head -- as if I had caught head lice or something. I'm so weird.

Karen tagged me and so I am going to try to come up with 7 random things I haven't already mentioned.

The Rules: Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

1) I eat like a 5 year old. No, I don't wipe my hands on my pants, but my main food groups are pizza, fries, pop, hot dogs, mac & cheese, and McDonald's. I've never eaten a salad and I don't know what I'd do with a lobster. If you can't dip it in ketchup, it wasn't meant to be eaten.

2) I have OCD. LIKE.A.LOT. I sometimes repeat myself 50 times, it's annoying. I lock and re-lock doors. I set the alarm clock 7 times. I have to scratch both legs if one itches. My socks have to match. I also bless myself if I sneeze. It's a compulsion.

3) I work three jobs. I've worked three jobs for about 4 years. At one time I was up to 5 part time jobs. It was not fun. Now I have one full time job and two part time. And I still spend every dime... like it's a quarter.

4) I don't like to wear skirts. My legs are *husky* Even when I was a size three I had fat legs and angles. And boy feet -- a nice hardy size ten. Doubt I'll ever fall over, I have a nice wide base. My aunt wears a 12.. in men's.

5) Sometimes the uber-nerd comes out and I try to find algebra problems to solve for fun. It's nice when things have an exact solution and there is no grey area. I love logic puzzles.

6) I've been known to wear the same pair of jeans a couple of days in a row. As long as they aren't - you know - dirty. Underwear, however, has a strict 24-hour shelf life and is never clean if you've slept in them.

7) I sometimes hide out in the bathroom. I claim constipation, really I just want an extra few minutes to read and be alone.

*Bonus!!* 8) I have a Myspace! However, I only have two friends and I don't 'decorate' - even though IRL I am a web designer.

There you go! I could have went on and on. I think I'm over the have-nothing-to-blog-about bug. I don't think there is anyone left to tag, so thanks for the fun!

Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?

I've been MIA. Lots of things going on. Nothing worthy of a mention here.

I revisited my New Years Resolutions to see how I'm doing. So far I have failed EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. Seriously. At least I'm consistent.

Tonight my employer is going to be featured on Modern Marvels. I'm definitely excited, but I'll only be taping it to watch later. LOST is on.

Are you all into horses, Christi?

That question was in my comments. I was going to answer it there, but my answer was so long that I decided it deserved a post.

I've been riding horses since I was a baby. All of my earliest memories are on horseback or somehow surrounding horses. When I was growing up I used to joke that we kids would starve before the horses would. That's how it was, the horses came first and we did nothing else. All of my friends had horses. It kept us out of trouble.

I was away from the horse world for about 5 years. The five most miserable years of my life. Not just because there were no horses, but also because there was no horse-therapy. It sucked.

The kids are about as into horses as I was as a child. They like them, but not the work. They do the work because they have to, like any chore. They take the horses for granted because they have never been without. They seem to understand that no matter how tired we (humans) are, the horses depend on us. The husband, he hates them! I tried to find a nice guy who liked horses, but all the boys I've dated that liked horses don't like girls ;)

As for me, there is absolutely no place I'd rather be than at the barn. Except for maybe at a horse show.

All Quiet on the Homefront

Not a whole lot has been going on. We're gearing up to start the new show season. The fun: new clothes, hours in the barn again, the successes. The not-so-funs: sore butts from riding, empty bank accounts, hours lot to the barn. I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be. We have a show scheduled for every weekend from the last weekend in April through September. Let's see how many we make it to.

Digging Around

I've spent some time digging around for info on my horses' families. Maybe it's because spent so much time no know my own dad, but I feel like I should know a little something about their parents.

Bluberi Moon, whose father (was) Zion Son King and mother StrawberiShortcake, is the mother to my SuchaFancy Bailey (I didn't name!) and her father is Short of Socks, son of Socks of Doc. Te Party Time, a non-relative is the daughter of Te Two Eyed and Storeys Delight. She is also the mother to a yet-unnamed baby, fathered by In Good Taste.

So there! Now if there are any other curious horse-googlers out there, maybe they'll find me and we can swap pictures.

I Know Things

Today I issued a challenge to a friend to count backward in Spanish. She asked for a second to think about it. I spouted it off before she would get a word in. Knowing I do not speak Spanish, she asked how.

When I was a kid we were taught numbers to 10. Bored one day while on my horse, I practiced doing them backward. So, I said, I recite them like I would the lyrics to a song.

"OH!" she says. "So you know them like I know the alphabet."

$49.35

Gas is almost 3 bucks again! I filled up at the pump near my house, which is often the last to go up. I paid 2.60-something a gallon. My truck, with a 28 gallon tank, and a 19 MPG average, needs a lot of gas.

This new gas station has a $50 limit on credit cards at the pump. They blame it on the banks, but I've never seen it elsewhere. Not even on the other branches of this station in town. Needless to say, at this price I often hit that limit. Today I was was sure that I would because I was at 1/4 of a tank.

The pump stopped at $49.35. I briefly felt like I was in a reality show and I had won the jackpot.

EnV

I finally bit the bullet and replaced my phone tonight. It was hard because (1) I'm really bad with change and (2) I'm really hard on phones. My current phone phone no longer charges a battery, drops calls, and barely get a signal. This is, no doubt, a response to the frequent trips it has taken to the pavement.

I knew I didn't want a Motorola. I used to have one and hated the menu and the phone. I was lukewarm to Samsung, having had one bad experience with a battery hog. I have always enjoyed my LGs. Problem is? The phones out right now suck. Unless you want a Razr (they are junk) or a Chocolate (junk), you are pretty much SOL. I briefly considered the shock-proof one, but is was made by Casio and ugly.

So, I let my friend be the guinea-pig. She got an EnV about a month ago. She still loves it. So I'm giving it a 15-day run. So far, so good. I'm texting, which I have never gotten into before. We'll see how long the novelty lasts. I purchased insurance based on my track record. So far my disappointment is shutter-lag on the camera. I'm used to shooting with a Nikon D200, so I am not surprised.

I even bought the husband a new (albeit cheaper) phone. And I hid the receipt.

15 Reasons Why Marrying Someone Twice Your Age is a Bad Idea

My husband is 18 years older than me. My good friend married someone 15 years older than her. We have a lot in common.

1. They call your music 'crap' that makes their ears bleed.
2. They stop growing hair on their heads and start growing it on their back.
3. Suddenly it is your spouse that 'walked 10 miles to school - uphill - both ways'.
4. You see an old dude at the store and can't remember if he's a friend of your spouse -- or your dad.
5. They feel the need to parent your friends.
6. They feel the need to parent you.
7. When you have a night of drinking and partying they watch patiently from a table instead of joining you.
8. They gripe at you to pick up your clothes.
9. And clean under the bed.
10. They cash in their retirement counting on you to support them in their Golden Years.
11. They see no humor in you kissing them in public - and then calling them Daddy.
12. Sex is suddenly PG13
13. Yes, they get wrinkly down there... and sag too.
14. You're 31 when they turn 50, that's just gross.
15. Suddenly the novelty of being a trophy wife wears off and you are just another bad late night joke.

And who said Anna Nicole had it easy?

Another Walk on the Wild Side

I usually don't fill these out because of a paranoia that someone will use an answer to guess a password online. Not a valid paranoia, mind you, because I always lie when I answer the 'secret question' -- lie to the point that even I can't guess the answer. When I forget a password -- that's right, I'm screwed.


What curse word do you use the most? The S-word, I think
Do you own an ipod? A $79 Shuffle, does that count?
What person on your f-list do you talk to the most? F-list? Married people defiantly do not get an f-list!
What time is your alarm clock set to? 6:01 am - which is actually 5:41 am. No, it no longer fools me. I hit snooze twice -- usually.
Do you still remember the first person you kissed? Yes, he is now living with a man.
Do you remember where you were on September 11th, 2001? I was getting ready for my very first appointment with the shrink who told me to leave my first husband. I thought the radio station was doing another 'stunt'.
Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take it
What was the last movie you watched? Blood Diamond
Do any of your friends have children? Yes
Has anyone ever called you lazy? Yes, and I am.
Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? No, my head only has to hit the pillow, and sometimes not even that.
What CD is currently in your CD player? Lots of random CDs that my friend makes with music she steals from the Internet. They never have the same genre of music for two songs in a row.
Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? regular
Has anyone told you a secret this week? No, I'm not so good with the secrets.
When was the last time you had Starbucks? Yuck, never.
Can you whistle? Not well
What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Depends.
What are you looking forward to? Horse Show season
Did you watch cartoons as a child? The few we had with only the local broadcast channels.
Do you own any band t-shirts? no
What will you be doing in one hour? putting kids to bed
Is anyone in love with you? highly doubtful
What was the last song you heard? I have no idea
Last time you cried? yesterday
Desktop computer or a laptop? either or both
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? No
What's the weather like? Wet, but warm
Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos? No
What did you do before this? wrote another post
When is the last time you slept on the floor? a couple of nights ago
How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 3, but I'm a bitch with less than 8
Do you eat breakfast daily? yes
Are your days fast-paced? you have no idea
What did you do last night? My parents' taxes
Do you use sarcasm? Never!
How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 21 - again
Are you picky about spelling and grammar? spoken, yes, but I'm not such a good speller. Most people I know blubber that they 'ain't never got none' -- drives me nuts!
Have you ever been to Six Flags? No
Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex? It's a toss-up. I'm too bossy to get along with most
Do you like mustard? Yuck
Do you sleep on your side? Yes
Do you watch the news? Not usually, too depressing
How did you get one of your scars? I fell off my teeter-totter when I was standing on it and ended up with 5 stitches in my butt, there is still a scar
Who was the last person to make you mad? LOL, seriously?

I've never seen The Godfather Either

I stole this from Karen, who stole this from Traci, who stole it from Michele, who stole it from....

According to the supposed "rules," if you've seen over 85 of these movies, then you have no life.

My count was 58, if I can count right. I've seen bits and pieces of a lot more, but maybe only 5 minutes worth -- long enough to fall asleep. What is really embarrassing is that we own most of those movies. The husband is a huge DVD 'collector' so we must.own.everything. I bet we have 500 movies. I tried doing the math for him one day, but all reason went out the window. His eyes glazed over and I lost him. I pledged long ago to never watch anything made before 1979. A pledge I broke to watch Deliverance, which quite possibly be one of the worse movies ever made.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(X ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
( ) The Princess Bride
( ) AnchorMan
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
(X) American Pie 2
(X) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
( ) Harry Potter 1
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
(X) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(X) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(X) Robots
( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
(X) KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) King Kong
( ) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
(X) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(X) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving Christmas
( ) Flubber
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
(X) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
(X) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
( ) Bad Boys
(X) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
( ) Ocean’s Eleven
( ) Ocean’s Twelve
(X) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(X) E.T.
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She’s All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
( ) X-Men
( ) X-2
( ) X3
(X) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
(X) The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
( ) Shrek
( ) Shrek 2
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old Virgin
(X) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
( ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
( ) Base-ketball
(X) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(X) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
( ) Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
(X) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
( ) Kill Bill Vol. 1
( ) Kill Bill Vol. 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
( ) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks: Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks: The Battle For Endor
(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix: Reloaded
( ) The Matrix: Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(X) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal