Vonage Sucks Too

After my last frustrating experience with Verizon, I decided to sign up for Vonage. With a promise of a modem appearing at my door in 2 business days and a month free service, I was excited to be rid of long-time loser, Verizon (formerly GTE). I had to pay at $42 setup fee.

That was two weeks ago. Still no modem. I called to cancel. Well, turns out I have to call yet another phone number that is only open limited hours. I couldn't cancel with the same people I placed the order with. And they still have my $42.

Now I hate all phone companies.

Ask Yourself Punk - Are you Feeling Lucky?

I seriously hate asking for salt at Wendy's or McDonalds and being gifted with 10 packets in my bag. Who needs 10 packets of salt for one medium fry? For that matter, who needs 10 packets of salt - EVER!

Here are some other ways to annoy me:

• When I am going 33 mph in a 35, ride my ass because those extra 2 mph make THAT MUCH of a difference. The speed limit is exactly that, a limit, not the minimum you can go. You know what trying to rush me does? It makes me go slower.
• If you call my cell phone and I don't answer because, hey, I might be talking to someone more important... call back continuously until I give up and answer out of sheer annoyance... Then ask me casually: "whatcha doing?"
• Leave the cordless phone off the charger so that every time I try to use it, it dies 5 minutes into the call.
• Wear your shoes on my very light-colored carpet.
• Rev your motorcycle for 10 minutes outside my house at 3am. Yea, you are cool, and the whole street hopes you get hit by a bus.
• Drink my pop and then act flabbergasted when I announce it disappeared. Yea, it emptied itself and then walked in the recycling bin. That's a die-hard environmentalist.
• Switch my chair at work and then laugh when I spend all week looking for the one that has my butt-print in it.
• Pull out in front of me and THEN TURN 50 feet down the road. Why do people do this?
• Wait until I walk away from my computer and then turn it off, forcing me to wait for it to boot every time I want to do something. Do it in the name of power-conservation.
• Tell me that I can't possibly be correct because you are an expert in the field. And then have absolutely no facts to back up your point. You are right because you say so, I get it.

A Tad Disappointed

I was so excited for premier week. Private Practice, the Grey's Anatomy spin off, was a super-hyped disappointment. Instead of the passion seen from Grey's, it was more like a cheap Strong Medicine. Where the hell is Addison's fire? She gets a new show and an extreme personality makeover?

Grey's is half over and also a disappointment. I realize these kids have to find their adolescence, but it seems like the writers were asleep in this episode. Not leaving anything to chance, Izzy is a complete flake, Christina is mean, and Meredith's sister has completely become who she was last year. I sure hope it gets better than this. At this point, even I can predict the plot.

I Hate Verizon

A month ago I changed my calling plan online to one that better suits our needs. Actually, the only thing I use my landline for is send the occasional fax once a week from home. Seriously. So instead of paying $50+ a month, I'd like to pay $20. No-brainer right?

Well fast-forward to this month's bill. Still $50+ Called their helpful number to change service. Well... the only thing I could do there was UPGRADE. In order to select a lesser package, I have to call back and be put on hold for forever.... during the day. The daytime when I am at work. So how is that possible? Exactly. Time to dump Verizon.

Brat Hart

I wanted to test the slow motion on the camcorder... but not how she wanted me to do it. Yes, that is her swinging at me in the end. This is typically how my night goes. A better parent would have put the camcorder down, but I wanted to share what I get to see every day.

Rebuilding

While the new computer is nice and fast and pure...

... Having to install all the stupid software I need sucks. Finding the CDs sucks worse. Must.Get.Organized.

Red Ex

Today I followed a red Ford Explorer with the above-named personalized plates. We went over an overpass where they stopped at every.single.pothole. to navigate around. Then they went a good 15 mph under the posted 35 mph down a residential street.

OK, so I understand being cautious.

Then they turned - a hard fast right turn - without USING THEIR TURN SIGNAL.

Good Intentions

The kids and I had a busy weekend that included Chuck E Cheese, the park, and the zoo. I found a cell phone at the park. It was a nice, newer Verizon phone. After asking around and not finding the owner, I called the home number on it in an attempt to return the phone. I also called the last number dialed when the home number didn't answer. The lady at that number gave me the owner's home address and asked me to drive it there! I eventually got a call back from the owner and she was coming back to the park to get it.

When she showed up and I handed her the phone, she barely grunted a 'thanks' and peeled away. How dare I inconvenience her by making her drive all the way back to the park for her forgotten cell phone.

I instantly wished that I had friends in Europe that I could have called on her dime. Ungrateful hag.

False Advertising

Megan has a new bed. Why, at 3, she is finally getting a toddler bed is a long story that starts with the fact her never-slept-in crib converts and ends with her father doesn't want her to grow up so he won't convert it.

We bought a handy little bed at WalMart. The box CLEARLY said 'easy to assemble'. I figured after wrangling it out of the store with Megan in tow and no help from the employees, putting it together would be a snap.

Well they obviously meant it was easy to assemble if you are an engineer or a carpenter or even just someone who has a vague understanding of WHAT THE HELL TO DO. It took several hours and several more cuss words, but I finally got it together. Megan is very pleased and loves sleeping in it.

We have no extra bolts and one unfilled hole, I'm hoping it's their screw-up and not mine...

Ironic

Today I did a little my my MySpace page. I feel so *like 12*. Well, I wanted to do the custom name thing they have so that my page is called something other than myspace.com/somerandomnumber -- well I wanted it to be 'Be_fearless'....

.. well it was TAKEN! and not just taken... BUT taken by a girl who rides horses.

I'm pissed.

Why I Grind my Teeth

My dog is a barn dog. She's lived at the barn since I've gotten her. The barn is at my Grandma's house. I bought her a nice $350 pen to live in to keep her safe.

In November my aunt's dog came to live with her. They are sisters. My aunt's dog moved into my $350 pen and my $100 dog house. Rent free. She has provided dog food for them for approximately 7 nights of the almost 4 months her dog has been there. I have provided the rest. I also provide the labor it takes to feed them.

Today her daughter (who is an adult) decided to let them out unsupervised. They dog pound caught them. I now have about $200 in fees to pay. She said that was the price of owning a dog. Apparently she missed the chapter about providing room & board. And the responsibility it takes to have them.

Sometimes I seriously hate my family.

D to the U to the M to the B

What is with the rash of songs that make you feel as if you are in a 6th grade spelling bee? For example: Fergalicious by Fergie or Holla Back Girl by Gwen Stefani (Warning, do not click the links unless you want a billion pop-ups).

It's like: I can't think of anything intelligent to sing about, so lemme spell some words for you. I wonder which member of their creative staff was in charge of the dictionary?

Reminds me of my favorite Rap song of all time: SuperSonic by JJ Fad -- but at least they made their letters stand for something.

The S is for Super and the U is for Unique, the P is for Perfection
and you know that we are freaks. The E is for exotic and the R is for Raps. SO
tell those nosey people just to stay the hell back.

Happy Homecoming

The husband is home. After giving me a quick kiss that missed my lips by a few inches and making a phone call to someone, he went to bed. Never noticing that I had spent the last day ensuring the house was clean. Never playing with the kid who had been wishing all week he'd come home and play. Getting a whole hell of lot more sleep than I was going to get.

Why did I get married again? Oh yea, to get a better deal on the taxes.

Idiotville

Reluctantly I agreed to do a website about a year ago for one of the hubby's friends. Not even one I particularly care about because this is the 'drop everything when he calls guy'. He's always late, never prepared, and in general drives me nuts. I agreed to update the thing last night for the hubby's sake. Not for the fun. Not for the glory. Not even for the few bucks I make doing it. Which, but the way, is not enough to cover wasting my Friday night. I did it for the hubby. Because he thinks I'm selfish. I only ask if he can come after 9 so I can play with the kids and relax before bedtime. He can't. 6:30 it is.

He shows up at 10 till 8. Ten minutes before a new episode of Ghost Whisperer is on. Over an hour since I've been waiting. No call. Then he isn't prepared. Want to know what time he leaves? After 12 freaking thirty. So the baby is up until one because she goes to bed with me.

The whole time he's here, this is what I'm hearing from him: Do you know what ROI means?(yes, thanks, I'm not twelve) Then a half-ass explanation before I can answer. Do you even know what scalable means? Yes, I interject.. able to grow. OH! He says, I didn't think you'd know what that meant! 'I though you would say something about fish.' OMFG - that is what he said! Really, it was like that all night. Finally I said: "(Name withheld), I can't spell, but I still passed English. I'm not stupid." Yes, I said it rudely. It didn't help.

Then I asked him if he knew what pompous meant. Ok, maybe not so much. But I really, really wanted to.

Just Say NO!

I had to take my truck into my dealership's service center today. I was 2000 miles past the 3000 mark that they force you to change your oil at. I'm quite sure it could go at least 6k, as sure as I am that 93 octane isn't any better for my truck than the cheapo crap I put in. However, lovely General Motors decided that the sticker doesn't get people to go in so they devised an idiot light to annoy me with CHANGE ENGINE OIL every time I start it. Every 5000 miles. If only the hubby could program it to say .. DO THE DISHES .. then maybe he wouldn't have to. It's that annoying.

Anyways, I barely handed the (new guy) jerk my keys and he's wanting me to rotate and balance my tires (that I did last time I was in). No thanks. Is it alright to upgrade your oil change? Then we can top off all the fluid levels. Again, no thanks. Can we? NO! Really? NOOOO!

After waiting over an hour, an hour that I'm sure they used to read my pay stubs and possibly steal my identity from all the crap I leave in my vehicle, the jerk is back. OH NO! He's almost frantic. Good thing he (read: the stupid card I agreed to when I bought it) gave me a complementary 28-point inspection!!! It seems that every fluid in my truck with 37,000 miles on it is dirty. It seems my truck is on the verge of total meltdown. I need (fill in 300+ fluids that I'm sure are maybe inside) changed! NOW! Um, how's about no, buddy?! He shakes his head at me and walks away. Devastated at the thought I might have to walk to work on Monday because surely my truck won't run... or the thought he just missed about $200 worth of sales. However, that odd noise I was concerned about? The one that sounded like grinding when I turn? That was nothing. This is why people do not trust mechanics.

You don't even WANT to know what I wanted to title this post, but it had something to do with bending. Let's leave it at that. Final bill? $12.95

Hey Ohio: DUH!

Recently Ohio voted to raise min wage from $5.15 to $6.85 an hour. I think there was a record turnout at the polls. I'd never seen lines so long. Time to elect a President, everyone stays home to watch talk shows... but offer to raise the min wage and even the dead seem to crawl out of the woodwork.

All of a sudden our local paper is screaming with headlines that say: Will hike hit you in the pocketbook? Some say price rise needed for businesses to survive and Expert projects wage hike 'ripple effect' -- Well DUH! How else is McDonalds going to make the same kind of profit on a Big Mac? So here is what happens: The local teenager who used to make $5.15 an hour is now going to be replaced. By someone who is worth $6.85 an hour. Meanwhile, prices are going to go up all around to cover costs. Hours will be reduced. We'll get crappier service and lesser quality. Do you think I'll get an extra buck-seventy an hour because society feels sorry for me? Doubt it. Way to go voters!

Meanwhile the teenager who no longer has a job is now unemployable and will have to rob houses and sell drugs. They'll make more than ever. The middle class will no longer be able to support their fast food habit. Those people who never aspire to do more with their lives than minimum wage? Well, don't you worry... they will be OK!

My first 'real' job at 16 paid $4.30 an hour. Just above minimum wage at the time. Within a year I was making $7 an hour. How? I worked hard, I looked for opportunities. I always did more than was asked of me. I always did my best no matter how crappy I felt. I was dependable and made myself indispensable. I worked through college. Then I looked for a better job. The people I encounter working McJobs and bussing tables -- might be worth $4 and hour on a good day.

Really, society, give hard work a try. It's time to step out of the hand-out line.

Good Point - Peeves Remix

The issue of things spelled creatively came up in the comments. The example was 'Kindergarten Korner'. I HATE THAT. I do not like it when 'ks' becomes 'x' as in Worx or Chex. I don't do Kookie Kutters or Kritters, not even Kustom Kolors. I don't say thanx (maybe once). I'm not kool enough. or kewl. When I was 5 I informed the cashier at Toys R Us that their R was backward on the sign outside. She laughed and tried to explain it. I still think it is stupid.

The only - and I mean only - place that doesn't bother me: Krispy Kreme. Even I can't complain when the doughnuts are that good.

And sorry to all the mothers that have decided that there are 45 ways to spell Mackenzie. That is just wrong. As a child I never could find pencils with my name on them. I'm still trying to recover.